He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
