Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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