And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
