Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
