She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
