I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
