dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
