i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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