I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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