a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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