who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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