"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
