the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
