he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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