i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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