I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
