:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
