About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
