Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
