before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
