Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
