I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
