Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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