my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
