In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
