She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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