also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
