Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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