Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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