i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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