i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
