2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
