I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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