I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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