So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
