Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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