Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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