Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
porn star boner night. come get it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
