Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
