More tranny stories later!
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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