6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
