So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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