why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
