Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
