think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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