i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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