dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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