The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
