You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
