We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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