Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
