Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
