I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
