I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
