These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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