Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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