**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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