shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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