well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
