I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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