I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
True strength comes from lack of pants
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
