Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize