that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
