i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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