make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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