after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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