I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
