lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
